Lifestyle Mental Health

When it Rains

“Sometimes when it rains it pours.” This has been the phrase for this past month or so. Besides the fact that most of the world is still on lock down due to the pandemic, our family has been struggling with one thing after another. Because we split our time between two states, this means double headache with maintaining our house in Texas (usually having it rented out on AirB&B or as a longer term rental) and the living situation in Alaska.

Thanks to Covid 19 our house was not rented out as it usually does, which means it’s not paying for itself. Meanwhile, we came to Alaska with our lot for sale stuck with no buyers. We plan on moving closer to family and cousins our kids can grow up around in a town an hour away. We had been expecting to use the sale of our lot current lot for our construction loan on our new place. Welp, once again, thanks to the weird situation we are in, that did not happen. Our plan of having our home built and ready to move in before we headed back to Texas this fall, did not go as planned. Instead, we were only able to secure the new lot and it shall remain empty (but ours!) until next year. Now we find ourselves living on our old lot, ‘camper style‘ until it sells.

We are making the most of living the camper life and my minimal living heart is quite content here. But even that came at a cost. We have the basic hook ups for our camper to get all the necessary utilities. My hubby is amazing, with a little over 10 years of pouring his blood, sweat, and tears (maybe, probably not tears) into making this piece of land ready to be built on. However, on the week we planned on moving, we discovered a problem with our water well. We had to find someone ASAP to get it looked at and fixed (because of basic necessities and all).

That same week, Lowell was experiencing some pains and discomfort. Now, this man has the biggest pain tolerance I know, so if he was concerned- we knew it had to be something serious. He got checked out and the doctor found a cyst that had to be removed. Thankfully not cancerous. But after surgery he would be out of commission for six weeks for recovery. He works from home, so mainly it just meant no strenuous water well fixing, or deck building, or set net fishing for him.

To top things off we got word that the air conditioning unit in our Texas house had quit. We got somebody to go figure out the problem… It was a very expensive problem that we could not afford. The outside unit had to be replaced. I had them do a few patches here and there to make it work just a little while longer, but no luck there. So in the meantime, the possibility for any hopes of rental income would come to a complete stop until the A/C was fixed.

I am telling you, all these problems- on top of being pregnant, would have done quite some damage to me emotionally. But beside the normal worrying and praying, I am doing well. I am rolling with the punches, waking up with energy and optimism, and gaining on some tiny obtainable goals on the daily. I know what it is like to live life through deep depression and nothing can change your outlook on life. I am grateful, so very grateful for this season. Emotionally and spiritually living on a mountaintop is so nice and such a blessing after being stuck in a valley for so long. Although there is rain and rolling dark clouds, I can see that small rainbow, reminding me this moment and circumstance is not forever. It’s not the new normal. Things change. They always, always do.

If you find yourself in a deep depression, some things that helped me step out of that included:
Talking to those who love me about where I was at
-Having prayer warriors lay hands on me and speak life, breaking the chains of bondage
-Going to a professional counselor (yes, even good counselors need counselors)
Forgiveness (to yourself, family member, friend, or some stranger who you felt did you wrong. That bitterness and unforgiveness will eat you from the inside out, you have to let it go)
-And finally, lowered expectations (at least for me) did wonders in being able to begin to live a more fulfilled life

Right now we are still living in our camper and the slowed down pace of life and forced minimal living has been so nice. I even made a camp style “washing machine” to wash cloth diapers between laundry days! Lowell is starting week two of his post op healing and having to learn to slow down, take it easy, and just let me take care of him. (I’m loving it- he is struggling to get used to it). And a couple of family members pitched in to help cover the Texas house A/C issue. All in all we are blessed. We have food every day. Lowell and I can still work, all of our family is healthy and well. I realize the problems we have are “first world problems” (except the no water for a while). And when it comes down to it, other parts of the world and even our country have people who are struggling tremendous hardships due to the pandemic. All of us have our own level of stress, but in that stress- let us focus on what you have the power to be able to change and what is good at this moment. Keep your hope up, because things will not last like this forever.

-Vanessa

Scary storm clouds